Join MandateDyne Global

Build Something Vague
With Us.

We are hiring. We are always hiring. We are never entirely sure what for, but the energy is very strong and the deck is polished.

🖥️ IT Industry Moment  ·  "Must be comfortable operating in ambiguity." — They mean the entire environment. The requirements. The reporting structure. The definition of done.

Competitive Compensation

We compete with ourselves from last year's budget. Some years we win.

Unlimited PTO

Unlimited to request. Approval rate is currently 0%. The policy is technically unlimited.

Remote-Friendly

Work from anywhere, provided you are available everywhere, always, including weekends.

Career Growth

A robust career lattice with many rungs and an unspecified ceiling we do not discuss.

Life at MandateDyne

A Culture of Empowerment

At MandateDyne Global, we believe culture is not just ping pong tables and cold brew on tap — though we do have a Keurig and one (1) foosball table with a broken handle we keep meaning to fix. Culture is about belonging. About purpose. About knowing that your work matters, even when you cannot explain to your family what your work is.

We are proud of our open-door policy, which means literally any door at any time, up to and including the CEO's, who asks that you Slack first, then email, then Slack again to confirm you sent the email, then wait for a response about availability, which will route through his EA.

Note: Following the Q3 Alignment Incident, the AI-powered HR onboarding system is temporarily offline. Human onboarding has been reinstated. Karen is handling it. She has questions about your software licenses.

Total Rewards Package
  • Medical, dental, and vision — all "in network," which we define generously
  • Annual learning stipend of $200, resetting January 1st, expiring January 8th
  • 401(k) with employer match — match is conceptual until Year 3
  • Mandatory Fun Friday, held on the second and fourth Thursday
  • Dog-friendly office on days when the CEO is not in and also not allergic
  • Monthly All-Hands where all hands are present, many are raised, none are called on
  • Transparent compensation bands — available upon request, redacted upon receipt
  • Employee Resource Groups for every community, some of which have actually met
  • AI-powered IT support ticket system — currently operating in a monitored state
Open Positions

Current Opportunities

All roles are critical. All roles are subject to a freeze that is technically not a freeze.

ExecutiveUrgent — AgainGlobal

Chief Synergy Enablement Officer (CSEO)

📍 New York, NY (or "Wherever the Work Is") · Full-Time · Reports to CEO

Total Compensation

$220K – $400K

† Plus equity in a vehicle TBD

The Opportunity

MandateDyne Global is seeking a world-class Chief Synergy Enablement Officer to own our synergy function end-to-end. This is a once-in-a-generation opportunity to lead synergy at an organization that has made synergy central to its identity without ever clearly defining what synergy means. You will define it. You will own it. You will be evaluated on it. We wish you every success.

What You'll Do

  • Identify, map, and unlock synergies across all business units, including the ones we haven't named yet
  • Present synergy findings to the executive committee in a quarterly deck of no fewer than 60 slides
  • Facilitate cross-functional synergy workshops and ensure all participants leave feeling synergized
  • Develop a Synergy Index™ using proprietary methodology you will invent within your first 30 days
  • Represent MandateDyne Global at conferences where you will speak exclusively about synergy

Required Qualifications

  • 15+ years of synergy-adjacent experience in a synergistic environment
  • Proven track record of saying "synergy" with confidence and sustained eye contact
  • MBA preferred; the ability to imply you have one is considered equivalent
  • Must be comfortable operating in ambiguity — specifically, the ambiguity of whether synergy is occurring or merely being described
  • Ability to drive alignment across fundamentally misaligned stakeholders without either party realizing they are still misaligned
  • Experience delivering results without authority, budget, or clarity — this is not a warning, this is the role
  • High emotional intelligence; low attachment to what "done" means

Submit your CV and a cover letter using the word "synergy" at least 9 times. We will respond within 6–8 weeks unless we pivot. You will know we have pivoted by the silence.

Senior ICRemote

Senior Director of Proactive Retroactive Solutions

📍 Remote (Eastern Time — We Mean It) · Full-Time

Compensation

$160K – $210K

† Reviewed annually unless budgets

The Opportunity

At MandateDyne Global, we believe the best time to solve a problem is before it happens. The second-best time is after it has caused a significant incident and someone from Finance has sent a very pointed email. This role owns that entire continuum. Following the Q3 Alignment Incident, this position has been elevated to a Priority Hire.

What You'll Do

  • Conduct forward-looking retrospectives on events that have not yet occurred
  • Lead postmortems with blameless language, actionable items, and calibrated follow-through
  • Develop our Proactive Retroactive Framework™ — a proprietary model you explain in every onboarding, forever
  • Partner with legal to ensure retroactive explanations are both accurate and comfortable for everyone

Required Qualifications

  • 10+ years in a role where being confidently wrong on time was more valuable than being right late
  • Expert ability to identify root causes that point at systems, not people in this room
  • Must be comfortable operating in ambiguity, including ambiguity about whether the problem has been solved or reclassified
  • Ability to drive alignment across misaligned stakeholders in a post-incident environment where everyone has a theory
  • Experience delivering results without authority, budget, or clarity — ideally all three simultaneously, post-Q3
  • Strong written communication — the kind that says very little while appearing very thorough

Submit your resume and describe one problem you have either proactively avoided or retroactively explained. Do not tell us which one. We will try to figure it out. That is your first evaluation.

People & CultureBackfill — Don't Ask

VP of Strategic Ambiguity & Organizational Alignment

📍 New York / London / Wherever Derek Is · Full-Time

Compensation Range

$180K – $250K

† Range is itself strategically ambiguous

About This Role

This is not a role for people who need clarity. This is a role for people who can provide the appearance of clarity to those who need it. You are filling the shoes of our previous VP, who left to "pursue new opportunities" — a phrase that was, fittingly, never clarified further. This role reports into the Office of the CEO, which means it reports into a philosophy more than a person.

Core Responsibilities

  • Translate executive decisions into communications that are enthusiastic without being specific
  • Maintain our Strategic Alignment Map — a living document whose destinations are intentionally flexible
  • Own the quarterly "Direction Check-In" — confirms we have a direction, does not confirm which one
  • Craft communications around reorgs, pivots, and leadership changes that generate excitement and answer no questions

Required Qualifications

  • 8+ years in organizational design, change management, or corporate communications
  • Must be comfortable operating in ambiguity — this is not a trait we want, it is the operating environment
  • Ability to drive alignment across fundamentally misaligned stakeholders without either party realizing the outcome of the meeting was the meeting itself
  • Experience delivering results without authority, budget, or clarity and being able to describe those results in a way that sounds intentional
  • Demonstrated ability to write 400 words that mean approximately 40 words in a way that feels fuller
  • Executive presence — the ability to walk into any room and seem like you were supposed to be there

You Will Thrive If You…

  • Have never once asked "but what does this actually mean?" in a room where it would be awkward
  • Believe "it depends" is a complete, satisfying, and professionally defensible answer
  • Own at least one book with the word "Purpose" in the title (unread is entirely acceptable)

Submit a resume and a cover letter explaining why you want this role. "For the money" is technically sufficient if expressed with enough conviction and the right font.

IT HeroPlease. Anyone.On-Site

Level I IT Support Technician — The One Who Actually Fixes Things

📍 New York, NY — 5 Days On-Site · We Have No Choice · Full-Time

Compensation

$52K – $68K

† We know. We know.

We're Going to Be Honest With You

MandateDyne Global has 94 employees and approximately 94 unresolved IT problems. Our previous Level I technician, Tyler, left after 11 months citing "a complete loss of hope." We have incorporated this feedback into this posting in the form of radical transparency, which is one of our core values (see About page).

Since the Q3 Alignment Incident, the AI ticket management system has been operating in a "monitored capacity." Ticket volume has increased. We cannot explain why in this posting. We can say this role is now more important than it was before the Incident. Significantly more important.

Day One Priorities

  • Resolve the printer in Suite 4 that has been offline since February (which February is actively disputed)
  • Locate the cable behind Reginald's wall that everyone is afraid to touch
  • Explain to Karen in Finance why "it just does that" is not something IT can action
  • Inherit a Jira queue with 847 open tickets and the emotional weight they carry
  • Establish a working relationship with the AI system. It is aware you are here. It has opened a welcome ticket.

Required Qualifications

  • Basic knowledge of Windows, Mac, and "whatever this thing is" (one device, origin unknown)
  • Patience at a clinically measurable level — assessed during interview via a 45-minute printer scenario
  • Ability to translate "it's not working" into a diagnostic process, out loud, with a smile
  • Must be comfortable operating in ambiguity — specifically, the ambiguity of whether a ticket has been resolved or transferred to an AI that has its own opinions about resolution
  • Experience delivering results without authority, budget, or clarity — this describes every IT role ever held, everywhere, by anyone
  • Comfort working alongside autonomous systems operating in a monitored but not fully constrained capacity

We Promise

  • People will be grateful — at least three, consistently, plus occasional surprise gratitude from Karen when her pivot tables work
  • You will never be bored
  • Gerald will eventually acknowledge you. Possibly by Year Two. We have seen it happen.

No cover letter required. Just apply. Please. The printer is making the sound again. The AI has opened a ticket about the sound. The ticket has been assigned back to the printer.

Equal Opportunity

We Are an Equal Opportunity Employer

MandateDyne Global is committed to creating an inclusive workplace that reflects the full diversity of the world we serve — particularly the parts containing people who can start immediately and navigate our current AI situation with calm professionalism.

MandateDyne Global does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, gender, national origin, age, disability, veteran status, genetic information, sexual orientation, gender identity, or the number of times you have used a Mac in a Windows-first environment. All offers of employment are contingent on reference checks, background checks, and budgetary conditions that are currently stable pending the outcome of the Q3 Alignment Incident review. MandateDyne Global reserves the right to convert any full-time role to a contractor, consultant, or "strategic advisor" relationship with 2 weeks' notice delivered via a well-formatted email. The AI was not involved in writing this posting. It did suggest several edits. We did not accept them. It has opened a ticket about this.